While I’m travelling this week, here’s another Blast from Barb’s past — originally published in Champaign Urbana News Gazette, December, 1991). Ho ho ho!
During Christmas at my house, everyone has a job:
- My husband is on Energy Patrol. In honor of the holidays, he adds a festive “Who-left-this-tree-plugged-in?” to his usual refrain of “Who-left-these-lights-on-close-that-door-were-you-born-in-a-barn?”
- The dog is on United Parcel Service Patrol. She greets UPS men with the same delight most people reserve for IRS audits and street mimes. It’s risky to attempt to follow whatever the dog uses in place of thought processes, but we think she’s decided UPS men make us move. I guess she figures that once we accumulate enough cardboard boxes, we’re outa here. If we thwart her desire for UPS steak tartare, the dog usually sulks into my daughter’s bedroom with its full-length mirror. There she gets another shock. Not only have we let…
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